Fuligin

Being humble means you'd rather sit and listen than stand for nothing. (@twitter)

Duke blue

Whoever said time flies when you're having fun never had a deadline to keep. (@twitter via nornegru)

Light thulian pink

If I could get a message to Weather I'd say to stop overdoing things. We could do without floods, droughts or blizzards. (@The Post-It Handler)

Magnolia

Reality is an illusion that occurs due to lack of alcohol. (@twitter)

Pale goldenrod

Since 2008 the paler you get the bigger success you have with women. (@twitter)

Nadeshiko pink

My feminist ideals fall somewhere between equal pay and I won't have sex with you if we split the bill. (@twitter)

Ecru

4 common lies: 1) I'm fine; 2) I never got your text; 3) She/he is just a friend; 4) I'll never hurt you. (@facebook)

Venetian red

Too many business deals are closed behind the doors of budoars. (@The Post-It Handler)

Desert

What do a clitoris, an anniversary and a toilet have in common? Men always miss them. (on twitter)

Dollar bill

Not All Those Who Wander Are Lost. (on FB)